X-mas Eve

So on X-mas eve, after a dumb two hours at work, I drove down to Anaheim to hang out for the weekend. The ride down was great, aside from the fact that my tape deck in the car does not play those tape adapters to play my Minidisc player. I brought my computer speakers, but the noise of the road was just too much for the sound to peak over. So I just listened to "Baby, Don't Be Messing With Those Arabs In My Head" for the eleventh hundred time. The thing I was going to listen to was a minidisc recording of Henry Rollins' "Up For It" DVD that I watched the night before. It's super awesome, but watching it is really dumb. Not Henry, but the camera. It's like they got Oliver Stone to film this. It's just a spoken word gig, but the camera angles come in from all directions. He's just talking about something and the camera pulls in, pans around from the backside of his head to the front, and then zooms in. It's quite ridiculous. Show the intensity of him talking about going to the zoo.

We were deciding where to eat and Charlie kept pitching this place called the Vineyard that they ate at the day before. Since he wouldn't relent on that, we decided to go there. Problem was that it was in California Adventure. Joe was purchasing his ticket and I looked at the rates and noticed that they didn't have separate passes for Disneyland and California. They used to sell differnt ones, but I heard they decided to get rid of that and have the pass be valid for both of them. I didn't see the "Park Hopper" pass. So this is where ignorance would've been bliss. If I previously didn't know about this California/Disneyland thing, I would've asked, but since I did, based on the information I saw and processed, I just went into California without asking. Once inside, Mrs. Pittack told me that the pass we had was only good for either Disneyland or California. Thanks, Charlie. To top that off, the place wasn't even called the Vineyard. Not that it mattered, but I just kept giving Charlie a hard time. So we get seated and we order two bottles of wine. We order food, eat, Joe orders dessert and a bottle of dessert wine. By the time we left that place, and before we even did anything at this park, we're blasted. We make our way over the the water ride which was fun except for the fact that they make the tube/raft thing you're in spin all the time. That was dumb. When the ride stars off, you go up this long incline and you're anticipating this huge, fun drop up a head. Slowly it approaches. Here it comes! You peak over it and slowly get released onto mildly flowing water to start the slow float through the ride.

The California Adventure Park should actually be called "the Beach Boys Fantasy Land." You are just listening over and over to caliope/musak versions of Beach Boy songs. Which was great since Mrs. Pittack hates the Beach Boys! It was hell for her. We walked around the waterfront and went to the rollercoaster. I really wanted to go on the ferris wheel. It was one of those loop-de-loop ones; it looked so fun. The rollercoaster was awesome. It was long, fast, lots of drops and turns, and the g-force crushes your skull in. Right from the start when we took off I yelled, "Fuck yeah, Satan rules. The Dark Lord reigns. Fuck you fat pig. I hate fat people. I'm gay. I fucked your mom." And just regular screaming. It was fun. Oh yeah, you probably realized by now that they sell alcohol at this park, already making it better than Disneyland. Not as crowded as Disneyland either. Then we stopped for some beer. Then went through the Hollywood area and went on a ride in the "Tower of Terror," which is based on a movie called "Tower of Terror." So they have a "Twilight Zone" introduction for it. Makes no sense. So you go in the freight elevator and it goes up, then drops down. Then stops. Then goes up, then drops. Then goes up. Then a long drop. At one point when it shot up and stop, I yelled, "Muh Fayice!" and everyone started laughing. It was a much better response that I ever would've expected.

After this ride we watched a Muppet Movie. Not "the Muppet Movie," but a Muppet Movie in the 3-D theatre. In the lobby, one of the prop boxes said "Indian Bedspreads." We thought that was really funny and couldn't believe they had that there. We got into the theatre and one of the employees was doing his scripted jokes and no one was laughing, except me. I was rolling and saying to us, "Tough crowd." He kept going and still no one in the crowd laughed. It was hilarious. And then I had to just say outloud, "Is this thing on?" The movie started and Waldorf and that other old man were animatronics in the balcony and heckling the movie. Then, in the movie, Fozzie looked up at them and asked, "What are you guys doing here?"

"We entered a contest."

"Yeah. We lost. Hahahahaha"

But like most 3-D movies, they just did a bunch of stuff that would look cool coming at you.

After the movie we walked to the main area and people were standing/sitting along side the curbs like they were waiting for a parade. They were. We got instructed to go to this area. The employee kept yelling at everyone to clear this one area that the parade didn't go through, nor was anyone going through. We got stuck in the middle of this four million mile long parade of lighted floats of Disney characters and this hypnotic, organ/keyboard music, over and over again throughout the parade. My back was sore, I was tired, and that music was driving me insane. Maybe that's why they sell alcohol? They should think about doing that at Disneyland. Unless you're the type of person that likes to be around thousands of idiots, people walking around with no order, just haphazardly bouncing around, stopping in the middle of the walkway, eating fucking food, taking pictures left and right. They walk worst than they drive. And if you know California driving, people have no brains when it comes to driving. Things like shooting out into the road when they could've waited ten seconds till you passed and enter safely. Or slowing down in the middle of the road to turn and not signalling and getting mad at you when you almost hit them and honk at them.

It was funny to see the fat family getting on the rapids ride, all wearing ponchos to not get wet. I was laughing pretty hard with myself at that. Fucking pussies. Can't handle water, don't ride. And it's not as if they were decked out in Armani suits or anything remotely good looking. They were like fucking thrift store clothes at best.